Frequently Asked Questions
Julia Burkin
Multi Award-Winning Life & Relationship Coach Based in Barkston near Grantham, Lincolnshire Coaching individuals and couples online and in person since 2006
What is life and relationship coaching?
Life and relationship coaching gives you space to think differently about what’s happening in your life.
Sometimes people come to me because a relationship feels stuck. Sometimes it’s confidence, retirement, divorce, family tensions, a loss of direction, or simply a feeling that life shouldn’t be this hard.
My role isn’t to tell you what to do. It’s to help you understand what’s really going on, challenge the things that are holding you back, and support you in creating meaningful change.
Most people already have the answers somewhere inside them. They just need the right conversation to uncover them.
How is coaching different from therapy?
Therapy often focuses on understanding and healing the past.
Coaching focuses more on where you are now, what’s getting in your way, and what happens next.
Of course, our past experiences matter. We don’t ignore them. But I spend less time analysing your history and more time helping you understand how old beliefs, habits, and patterns may still be influencing your life today.
The goal isn’t simply understanding why something happened.
It’s helping you decide what you’re going to do about it.
What can I expect from a coaching session?
A conversation.
Not a lecture. Not a worksheet marathon.
Just a genuine conversation where you can say the things you’ve perhaps not been saying out loud.
I’ll listen carefully, ask questions, notice patterns, challenge assumptions when needed, and help you explore options you may not have considered.
Some sessions are reflective. Some are practical. Some can be emotional.
Most clients leave feeling clearer than when they arrived.
Will you tell me what I should do?
No.
You are the expert on your own life.
I may challenge your thinking, ask difficult questions, share observations, or help you explore options, but I won’t tell you whether to stay, leave, forgive, retire, move house, or make any other major life decision.
The aim is for you to leave with greater clarity and confidence in your own decisions.
What if I’m not sure coaching is right for me?
Then you’re probably exactly where many of my clients started.
You don’t need to arrive with certainty, confidence, or a perfectly formed goal.
Most people contact me because something doesn’t feel quite right and they’re not sure what to do next.
That’s enough.
An initial conversation gives us both a chance to see whether we’re a good fit, with no pressure and no obligation.
What sort of issues do people typically bring to coaching?
Almost anything that leaves them feeling stuck, overwhelmed, uncertain, or disconnected from the life they want to be living.
That might include:
- Relationship difficulties
- Divorce or separation
- Retirement and loss of purpose
- Confidence and self-worth
- Family tensions
- Empty nest adjustments
- Workplace challenges
- Boundaries and people pleasing
- Life transitions and fresh starts
- Feeling lost despite outward success
Sometimes people arrive with a very clear problem.
Sometimes they simply know that something needs to change but can’t quite put their finger on what it is.
You don’t need to have all the answers before you come.
That’s often what coaching helps uncover.
Do I need to be in a relationship to work with you?
Not at all.
Although many people find me because of relationship challenges, my work is really about helping people understand themselves and the way they relate to others.
Some clients are married or partnered. Others are single, divorced, widowed, dating, retired, changing careers, or adjusting to a new stage of life.
Relationships affect every part of our lives – our confidence, decisions, boundaries, wellbeing, and sense of self.
Sometimes the most important relationship we work on is the one you have with yourself.
What if my partner won’t come to coaching?
Do you work with couples who are considering separation?
Why should I choose you as my coach?
What is residential coaching, and how is it different from a retreat?
Residential coaching gives you something many people struggle to find in everyday life: space.
Space away from work, family responsibilities, endless notifications, and the demands of daily life. Space to think clearly, reflect honestly, and focus on yourself without interruption.
What makes residential coaching different from simply booking a holiday or retreat is that you’re not left to figure things out on your own.
You’ll have dedicated coaching sessions with me throughout your stay, helping you make sense of what’s happening, explore what’s keeping you stuck, and identify practical steps forward.
Many clients tell me that being away from their usual environment helps them see things differently. They arrive feeling overwhelmed, uncertain, or emotionally exhausted and leave with greater clarity, confidence, and a renewed sense of direction.
Kingfisher Cottage offers the peace and privacy to step away from everyday pressures, while knowing that professional support is there when you need it.
Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs happen when you finally give yourself permission to stop, breathe, and think.
Why doesn’t coaching work for everyone?
Coaching can be incredibly powerful, but it isn’t magic.
For coaching to work, you need to be willing to be honest with yourself, open to new perspectives, and prepared to take action between sessions.
Sometimes people hope coaching will provide all the answers or make difficult decisions disappear. Unfortunately, no coach can do that for you.
My role is to help you think differently, challenge what’s holding you back, and support you as you make changes. Your role is to engage with the process and decide what you want to do with what you discover.
Coaching is also about timing. If you’re attending because someone else thinks you should, or you’re not yet ready to explore what needs to change, it may not be the right moment.
That’s completely okay.
In my experience, the people who gain the most from coaching aren’t necessarily the most confident or motivated when they begin. They’re simply willing to be curious, have honest conversations, and take small steps forward.
You don’t need to have everything figured out.
You just need to be willing to start.
Kingfisher Cottage
A private space by the river.
Whether you’re coming for a reset, support or hosting your own event, Kingfisher Cottage offers a peeceful, private setting in the Lincolnshire countryside.
I'm Julia Burkin, a life and relationship coach based in Lincolnshire. I help people steady themselves, make sense of what's happening, and move forward ith clanty.
Seen. Heard. Understood.
You don’t need to have
it all figured out.